


Green Eggs and Quicksilver

by TW Lewis (gardendoor)



Category: Invisible Man (TV 2000)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-08-04
Updated: 2004-08-04
Packaged: 2017-10-28 22:03:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/312636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gardendoor/pseuds/TW%20Lewis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yeah, um, I can explain.  No, actually, I can't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Green Eggs and Quicksilver

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimers: I am really, really sorry. Really. Spoilers for pretty much every ep.

That big fat man, that big fat man, I do not like that big fat man!

 _But do you like that little gland?_

I do not like that freaking gland. I do not like it, big fat man.

 _Would you like a padded room?_

I would not like a padded room, I do not like this gloom and doom. I do not like that freaking gland, please take it out, you big fat man!

 _Would you like it with the Keep? Would you like it while asleep?_

I do not like it with the Keep; my brain flips on when I’m asleep. I do not like that freaking gland, please take it out, you big fat man!

 _Would you like it on the run? Would you like it with a gun?_

Not on the run. Not with a gun. Not with the Keep. Not while asleep. I cannot stand that padded room, I cannot stand this gloom and doom. I really hate that freaking gland, please get it out, you big fat man!

 _Would you? Could you? Ask your brother? Ask him! Or that Swiss Miss Mother. He might help you. Trash his clock, or could you ask poor Tommy Walker?_

I would not, could not ask poor Walker. Can’t ask Kevin! He’s no talker. I do not like it on the run. I do not like it with a gun. I do not like it with the Keep, I do not like it while asleep. I’m tired of that padded room, I really hate this gloom and doom. Oh please take out this freaking gland. Please take it out, you big fat man.

 _Arnaud! Arnaud! Arnaud! Arnaud! Could you, would you kill Arnaud?_

Can’t kill Arnaud! Can’t have a spree! Can’t talk to Kev! Guys! Let me be! I would not, could not, on the run. I could not, would not, with a gun. I will not test it for the Keep, I will not use it while asleep. I won’t stay in a padded room, but I can quote you doom and gloom. I do not like this freaking gland, I do not like it, big fat man.

 _Say! On a crime? Off on a crime? Would you, could you, on a crime?_

I would not, could not, on a crime.

 _Would you, could you, in the pen?_

I would not, could not, on a heist. Not in the pen. Not with Arnaud, not poor Walker, not my brother. He screwed me; can I get another? Not with the Keep. Not on the run. Not while asleep, not with a gun. I won’t go back to padded rooms, I cannot stand this gloom and doom!

 _You do not like this little gland?_

I do not like it, mean fat man.

 _Would you, could you with a babe? Your mood improves when you get laid._

I could not, would not, with a babe. Did you forget? I can’t get laid! I cannot use it on a heist. I will not use it for Arnaud. Not in the pen! Not on a spree! Not for Walker! You let me be! I would not, could not with the Keep, I would not, could not, while asleep. I won’t go back to padded rooms, prison’s better, pushing brooms! I’m taking out this freaking gland! Make Claire cure it, big fat man!

 _You can’t do that, you may not. Try it and I’ll fire the doc._

Chief! If you let me, I swear I’ll stay. Please, I swear, just let me ... Hey! Wow, I love this freaking gland! No more red-eye! I'm the man! I can do it with a babe! Finally I can get laid! I will do ops with a gun. I will do them just for fun! And kill Arnaud. And go catch Stark. And catch some sleep. And run a spree. This gland is good, so good, you see! Never stuck in padded rooms, no more time for gloom and doom. And I’ll cooperate with Claire, and use this gland most everywhere! I really love that freaking gland! Thanks a bundle, big fat man!

End.


End file.
